Currently I’m waiting on a decision that could potentially change my life for the next few years, good or bad. I went for a job interview last night at 5pm, the second in this round and they were promising to have a decision for me over the weekend. It’s a role that came my way, I didn’t go looking so I’ve been a bit ‘meh’ through the whole process. I wasn’t sure I wanted to take a permanent role for starters (I seem to be all about the embracing risk and change and trusting God so for some reason a permanent role freaks me out) and I also got extended in my current contract a couple of months as well, so it’s not so pressing that I get another gig lined up just yet either.
Anyway, so all week I’ve been praying that the door only opens if it’s right. For quite a few reasons, I don’t want it if it’s not for me. This got me thinking it takes you quite a while in your Christian walk/life maturity to figure out that you don’t need every opportunity that presents itself. I certainly don’t remember praying for closed doors when I was younger, more praying fervently that God would miraculously give me everything I wanted that seemed good and fun. Ha, just like any good father He doesn’t work that way does he? Thankfully.
Doors slamming shut in your face can be hard though, I remember 2 1/2 years ago when I was barely getting by, almost homeless and going from temp job to temp job and being utterly baffled when a really amazing opportunity didn’t eventuate at the last minute. I still don’t really know what happened, except that I had a little God whisper a little while later that the reason I didn’t get it is I wouldn’t have coped. Oh, thanks God that you know me and know my limitations these days better than I do, even if my pride has to take a dent.
Have you ever watched a toddler throw a tantrum because they want to do something dangerous and they get stopped? I’m pretty sure as adults we are exactly the same with God, except we’re not toddlers and we don’t really forget all that quickly that we didn’t get our own way. We can spend years thinking about that lost opportunity, beating ourselves up for not doing better, trying harder. But, what if it didn’t happen for our own protection? What if we needed to stay right where we are for good reasons, because there are people we need to be around or things we need to learn? That’s sometimes tougher than taking a risk on a new opportunity. So relish the closed doors, they are there to protect you, teach you and ultimately guide you onto the better path.
Think of me today as I potentially have to make a big decision, or get told no.