I’ve subscribed to a wonderful scrapbooking kit for the next six months by Ali Edwards which felt a bit naughty and indulgent, especially given that I actually sell paper crafting products myself. But I really wanted to do some of her classes and learn more about crafting a story with my scrapbooking as much of Project Life is about recording the everyday (also great) but it just doesn’t feel that exciting for a single gal like me. And hey, I live in one of the most exciting cities in the world, I’m sure I have some stories to tell.
Anyway, before all of you non-papercrafters roll your eyes and back away from the blog, the process of journalling my life has turned out to be quite interesting so far. You may actually see more of this on here in the months to come. Ali has a thing called ‘One Little Word’ where you use one word as a theme for your story telling for the year. I was pondering this last week when writing my focus for 2015 posts, what would my word be? Could I think of just one word (don’t make me choose) and what would I do with it?
It became very clear after blogging last week what my word should be, vague enough that I can make it want I want, but important too.
That will be my them for 2015.
I’ve already told you a bit about what I want to focus on, but what I think it means to me is that I need to streamline my life a bit, say no to the things I should not be doing a bit more. Put my attention on the things and people that should have my attention and do it all a bit better. Have more focus in my job (and the new job I’m looking for right now). Live more deliberately in my personal life and regain some of the organisation and structure that I’ve had in the past and somehow seemed to totally lose moving here to London.
Focus is also a bit of a play on words as I really want to buy a DSLR this year and hone my photography further, a slightly more fun meaning of the word than some of the others.
I’m very aware (in mostly a good way) that I’m not so far from 40 and that will be the year I get my citizenship for the UK and become British too. I want to get there and feel I have some choices about what I can do from there. Study? Living on the Continent? Spending more time in NZ? I’m not quite sure what it looks like yet for me, but I want to be in a position by then to be able to move in a different direction if I need to.
Truth be told I’ve spent most of my 30s quite out of focus. Wow, I just realised this. I had high hopes, like us all that things would finally click into place and I’d meet the man of my dreams, have the kids and do all the amazing things for God. Of course, none of that happened really, though I like to think I’ve been mostly obedient with what God wanted me to do, no matter how small. The last few years have been very much about getting my life back in focus, wiping away the tears that clouded my vision for so long and trying to figure out what the rest of my life might look like. I was in survival mode for so long that I could only concentrate on the steps directly in front of me, looking too far beyond that not only was very painful and difficult, it actually felt impossible. Who knew if I would ever work again, if I would get better?
I’ve also been rather distracted in my own head, too much noise, too many opinions, too much social media and technology. I need to find a way to still some of that (though I love it too) and refresh my soul and mind.
Lately, you know, I can see a future, tiny bits of it anyway and I feel excited. It might not be things that would excite other people and I definitely don’t think it comes with much material wealth and it probably will always be a bit lonely. But I’ll be ok and I’ll be doing things I am passionate about. And that is what matters really.
So this year ahead, I think it’s a year to get rid of the things that aren’t meant to be in my life, prepare, put my attention on what is entrusted to me and not be so distracted. Have some fun, enjoy the home that I have and be less distracted by that which is not for me.