So I’m being very brave and starting this blog that’s been in my head and on my heart for almost a year now, probably longer. I don’t know if anyone will read it, but somehow I think I’ll be a better person for getting the plethora of thoughts that swim around my head organised and expressed.
Why twenty six letters then?
Well, I’m glad you asked that. Out walking on new years day this year in Portugal in the sunshine, after a period of reflection and introspection that often hits at Christmas for me, it hit me like a sledgehammer that just because Plan A hadn’t worked out for me, then it doesn’t mean that Plan B or whatever plan I’m on isn’t better. Or indeed exactly where I’m meant to be.
And what actually is Plan A anyway? Is it what we go off and plan without consulting God or is it what He had for us all along anyway? I don’t really know.
What I do know is that God reminded me on that hilltop in the Algarve that I’d always sort of known that I’d be back in Europe again after eight years. Guess what? It was exactly that amount of time before I came back. He reminded me that this lovely continent of my ancestors had been on my heart even when I was back on the other side of the world. And in that He somehow reassured me that through all the pain, loss and heartbreak of the last six years He was with me all along. I also know that there are many others like me, dealing with disability, illness and plain old disappointment that life looks quite different to how they imagined. I definitely haven’t arrived in my understanding of
I think I need to caution you that I don’t have it all together, far from it. The last few years have almost broken me at many times, though somehow I hold onto the hope that we are refined in the fire like silver and I’ll be all that much stronger for it. Also, for those of you who don’t share the same faith as I do, I hope you’ll try to stick with me a little as it’s sometimes the only way I can make sense of this crazy world we live in. I am not a theologian either, so if you are please go easy on me as I do my best to apply the Word to what I’m thinking. I may not get it right, please don’t judge my lovely church or the people who’ve taught me.